Adjusting After Maternity Leave: What I Learned

After spending weeks or months at home with your baby, the time has come to return to work. The worries and fears flood your mind, and it can feel overwhelming. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, mom guilt is real, and if you let it take control, it can prevent you from being the best version of yourself — the one your little one needs. From my own experience, here are a few things I learned that helped me during that first week back after maternity leave.

Starting Daycare Early: A Smoother Transition Back to Work

If you can, consider starting daycare a day or two before your first day back at work. It gives you time to adjust, breathe, and get into the routine before the demands of your job. When my twins were born, I didn’t return to work until they were 8 months old. On their first day at daycare, I dropped them off early, then headed straight to my new job. I could barely drive because I was crying so hard. I felt like I was in a nightmare — sleep-deprived, heartbroken, and missing my babies, all while trying to start fresh in a new role. Looking back, I wish I had eased into daycare a bit earlier. It would have given me the time I needed to adjust emotionally before I had to be “on” for my job.

Partner Support Makes Daycare Drop-Off Easier

If possible, have your significant other come with you for the first few daycare drop-offs. Every time we had a new child start daycare, my husband would accompany me for a week or two. With four kids under four, having his support to manage all the bags, diapers, and other essentials made a huge difference. More importantly, it made me feel less alone. Even though he didn’t have to say much, I knew he understood how hard it was for me. His presence was exactly what I needed during those emotionally challenging moments.

Start Daycare Gradually to Ease the Transition

Some parents choose to ease their baby into daycare by starting slowly, which may cost a bit more but can be worth it. The process typically begins with a short 2-hour session on the first day, then gradually increasing the time by an hour or two each day. So on Monday they go 8-10 am, on Tuesday 8- 12 pm, on Wednesday 8-2 pm and Thursday the full day. This approach allows both the baby and you to adjust at a comfortable pace.

Connect with the Caregivers

Ideally, you’d have supportive, loving family available to care for your child, but if that’s not an option, it’s crucial to thoroughly vet daycare centers. Start by asking friends or social media groups for recommendations, and don’t forget to read reviews. Take the time to visit the facility, meet the staff, and ensure it feels like a safe, nurturing environment. Feeling confident about where your child will be can help ease your mind.

Get Ready Ahead of Time

Try to get everything ready in advance. Waiting until the morning of will leave you feeling overwhelmed and scrambling to pack a bag, gather diapers, and get everything else together. Take a deep breath and plan ahead. A few days before, get everything packed and ready to go. Some daycares even allow you to drop off items ahead of time, so on the first day, you can just bring your baby and a backpack.

Acknowledge That Mixed Emotions Are Normal

It’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions — excited, sad, guilty, and relieved — all at once. These feelings don’t cancel each other out; they simply coexist. Allow yourself to experience all of them without judgment. The transition to daycare is a big change, and it’s okay to feel both happy and heartbroken at the same time.

Focus on the Positives for the Child

Remind yourself that daycare is an opportunity for her child to build important skills like socializing, confidence, and resilience. It's not just about separation — it's about growth and learning in a new environment. This experience will help her child develop independence and adapt to new situations. While it can feel tough at first, it’s a positive step in the long run.

Create a Consistent Goodbye Routine

Having a predictable goodbye ritual, like a hug, a special phrase, or a wave, can make the transition smoother for both the child and the parent. It gives them something familiar to rely on, which helps create a sense of security. Knowing what to expect each day can ease anxiety and make the separation feel less overwhelming. It’s a small gesture, but it can make a big difference in how both of you feel during the drop-off.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

It’s completely okay to grieve the shift from having your baby at home to starting daycare. Allowing yourself to feel those emotions rather than pushing them aside will actually help you process them more quickly. It’s a big change, and it’s normal to feel sad or overwhelmed. Embracing those feelings, rather than avoiding them, can help you move through the transition with more peace.

Looking back, I was an emotional mess every time one of my children started daycare, no matter if it was my first or my fourth. Some things that I learned to make the transition easier are consider starting daycare gradually, preparing in advance, and using a predictable goodbye ritual to help both you and your child feel more secure. Remember, taking time for yourself to recharge is just as important — when you care for yourself, you can show up as the best version of yourself for your child. And most importantly, give yourself grace. Feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed during this transition is completely normal — it just means you love deeply. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Be kind to yourself, lean on your support system, and know that with time, it does get easier. You’ve got this.